Coming to terms with one's own gender identity and sexual orientation is an issue within the development of every human being. These are big and “unwieldy” terms for how someone perceives themselves and which people they find attractive. How one feels on the path to confrontation varies greatly. It is important to know that you define yourself and no one outside.  

Gender identity – how do I identify?

Gender identity means which gender someone feels like they belong to, e.g. B. whether someone feels more like a man or more like a woman, or whether they are somewhere between the gender binary “man” and “woman” or perhaps whether they don’t want to commit themselves. It may be that the gender assigned at birth coincides with one's own feelings, which is what the word cis * . If someone does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, then the wording for that is trans * .

Binary  means someone identifies as exclusively male or female. But it can also be the case that someone does not identify exclusively as male or female. That means  non-binary . All of these terms show how diverse access to one's own gender identity is and can be.

Trans identity – what is it?

The term transidentity  is a self-description. Transidentity means that a person does not identify with the gender that they were assigned at birth based on physical characteristics (the genitals). Some describe the feeling that they are stuck in the “wrong” body, that the body doesn’t fit them. For example, physically you develop into a woman, but inside you feel like a man (or vice versa).

Do you know that you e.g. For example, if you are a woman, but you experience your own body as not fitting and other people perceive you as a man, this creates an (internal) contradiction that can also be very stressful. It can then be really helpful not to be alone with your feelings, to turn to people you trust and to give your feelings space. Sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know, e.g. B. to contact a counseling center.  

How do you know if you are transgender?

The point in time at which you realize that you are transident is very individual. Some people feel from childhood that their body and assigned gender do not reflect their perceived gender, for others this only becomes clear much later.

Maybe you can't name it so clearly, but just feel that you don't feel comfortable in your own body or with the form of address (the pronoun) with which you are addressed. It may also be difficult to classify these feelings. It can be confusing and stressful if you don't know exactly what the feelings mean.

In any case, it takes time to figure it out. It can help to talk about not being alone with your own thoughts and feelings and to get support. We are also there for you at any time with our advisory services if you would like to get in touch.  

Exchange with people in a similar life situation

Talking to someone who feels the same way can be very helpful. There are a variety of opportunities to exchange ideas in a protected environment, for example in groups or camps. You can e.g. B. get information about this from the Courage advice center .

Transition

Over time, many transident people develop the need to show their own gender identity to the outside world, to live it and to be “read” the way they see themselves. This process is called transition. It can take place in many different ways and on different levels. Each person has their own pace and determines how and when they want to express their gender identity. For example, about a change in clothing, name change or about hormone therapy or operations.  

Pronouns, or how would I like to be addressed? 

You decide which pronoun you want to be addressed with. In addition to using binary pronouns (such as she, she/her or he, he/him), you can also use the pronoun to express that you want to be addressed in a non-binary way (such as hen, they/them). It's just as ok if you don't want to be addressed with a pronoun at all, but only with your (desired) name.

Maybe you have already seen that e.g. B. on social media profiles it is also clear which pronoun the respective person would like to be addressed with. This creates mindfulness and visibility in the formulation.  

Screenshot: Instagram account with pronouns
Screenshot: Instagram account with pronouns

Sexual orientation

Gender identity says nothing about sexual orientation, i.e. which gender or genders someone feels emotionally and sexually attracted to. You can find more information in our articles:  

Labels – do I have to classify myself??!

For some people it can be relieving and consistent to feel like they belong to a label or category. For others, it may be restrictive and not at all appropriate to find a category. Some people use the word queer . For example, to express that they are not heterosexual, but do not experience a clearly defined label or do not want to share this with the outside world. Queer can also refer to gender identity and in this context means e.g. B. that someone cannot find themselves in a binary wording.

In general, there is no right or wrong here. It's all up to you and how you feel about how you want to handle it. It can also be the case that the labels within which someone feels they belong can change. Because you define for yourself what feels right, it is not rigid, but rather flexible and flowing.  

We humans are all different, and there are also different sexual orientations and gender identities. The abbreviation LGBTQIA+ uses the first letters (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Inter, Asexual and the plus for an inclusive formulation of other labels) to make the diversity of sexual orientations and gender identities visible, in addition to heterosexuality and when someone is with identified with the assigned gender (= cisgender).

intersexuality, inter* 

Gender assignment at birth is based on physical characteristics. In intersex people, the sexual characteristics cannot be clearly assigned to the common “medically standardized” female or male image. For several years now, it has been possible to select an open entry and not just decide within a two-gender option.  

Characteristics can include the genitals, internal sexual organs, gonads, hormones or chromosomes. In some people it is evident immediately after birth, but in most people it is only noticed later in life, e.g. B. during puberty. It can then be that due to hormones that are apparently foreign to the body, people who were assigned the female gender stop having their periods and have a broken voice or beard growth, or that people who were assigned the male gender stop having a beard and a broken voice or develop breast growth.

Maybe you have questions about it or you recognize yourself and want to talk about it? Then e.g. B. the VIMÖ association is a contact point ( HERE )

Other helpful pages

When dealing with topics, it can be helpful to get information and advice. We have put together a few links that may be helpful to you.  

  • Courage advice center
    Courage is represented at several locations for on-site advice, online advice is possible from all over Austria.
  • TransX – Association for Transgender People
    You can find a lot more information here.
  • Trans Austria
    Click here to go to the website of the Austrian-Bavarian Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality.
  • RosaLila Panther 
    advice is available on site in Graz, other advice options are available by telephone or email.
  • Queer lexicon
  • Are you looking for doctors, psychologists and psychotherapists who deal sensitively with LGBTQIA* issues? On Queermed you will find a selection of some specialists who have been listed after good experiences based on personal recommendations from users and also other advice centers.

About advice on wire

147 Rat auf Draht is an Austrian emergency number for children and young people. They can contact the emergency number 147 anonymously and free of charge around the clock with any concerns. In addition, the organization operates a website with an online application for anonymous advice, an anonymous chat, a database with frequently asked questions and answers, and a news section with current issues. The service also offers information and acute help for parents and caregivers of minors. Around 250 children and young people turn to the counseling service every day.147 Advice on Wire belongs to a European umbrella organization called Missing Children Europe.

Advice on wire

Also read:
Gender: Why it is important in language use – a comment


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