You've probably already secretly bought Christmas stollen, gingerbread and dominoes, right? It's almost impossible to walk past it, as the first shops started decorating for Christmas in September. At the end of October, inhibitions fell in the last few shops: it's a difficult Christmas!

Oh, what a wonderful time to consume

But the first Christmas offers are creeping through the shops not only “offline”, but also on the World Wide Web. “Think about your loved ones NOW”, “Have you bought all the presents yet?”, “SALE!” and “Secure your Christmas discounts now!” are already blaring out at you when you are simply looking for replacement blades for your razor.

Many musicians are probably already sitting diligently in their rooms to spice up a perhaps bland song: change the lyrics a little, add rhythmic bells: the next Christmas hit is ready!
Mariah Carey, THE Christmas fairy par excellence, doesn't actually need to do that with "All I want for Christmas", but her video is still funny:

By the way, the song is a real downer:
At the beginning she sings “I don't want a lot for Christmas”, only to sing “All I want for Christmas is you” in the chorus “ (All I want for Christmas is you).

Aha. So I'm not much. Thank you, Mariah!

The holiday season of fact checkers

Our pre-Christmas season looks a little different, because we're not hunting for presents, but rather hunting for facts! Yes, let's crack our fingers and prepare ourselves: Just as surely as “Last Christmas” will soon be played on the radio, the following fakes and claims will soon rear their unholy heads out of the snow that is not yet there:

The alleged renaming of the St. Martin parade and the Christmas markets

We're betting our bullshit button that this "clarification" will pop up again:

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The “clarification” will keep coming up

Oida! EVERY year it is claimed that the St. Martin's parade will now be called the "Sun Moon and Stars Festival" and the Christmas markets will be renamed winter markets.

But it's nonsense. The children at a daycare center once called it the “Sun, Moon and Stars Festival” because there was always a soup with sun, moon and stars in it (i.e. small noodles).
However, the daycare center did not rename the festival. And Christmas markets are called winter markets if they extend beyond the Christmas season, such as the winter market at Munich Airport, and the lights market in Elmshorn has also been called that since 2008 .

The Zipfelmann and the year-end figure

It's slowly time to swap the chocolate bunny on the desk for the Zipfelmann or the year-end figure - the supposed new names of the chocolate Santa Clauses.

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The Zipfelmännchen

These claims have been coming up for years, but while the Zipfelmann is simply an extended product of the penny market, meaning Santa Clauses still exist there, the year-end figure was a hoax.

Needles in gloves, poisoned CDs and drugs in perfume

If some hoaxes are to be believed, a visit to the Christmas market is more dangerous than a New York ghetto after dark.

The police allegedly warn about poisoned needles in gloves that are distributed free of charge, a CD with Christmas carols actually contains songs and statements from the Koran and, to make matters worse, people are also sprayed with perfume that has been mixed with drugs.

So you could almost think that it would be safer to take part in the “ Squid Game ”, as the chance of survival seems to be better!

Easter is coming soon again

So let's fight our way through the pre-Christmas jungle until we get gingerbread and marzipan! And let's resist the usual fakes and hoaxes that tempt you to click, share and outrage on Facebook & Co.!

And maybe, yes maybe, I’ll hum along to “All I want for Christmas” a little. And I'm looking forward to snow. But not right away!


Article image: Mariah Carey, Twitter


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Notes:
1) This content reflects the current state of affairs at the time of publication. The reproduction of individual images, screenshots, embeds or video sequences serves to discuss the topic. 2) Individual contributions were created through the use of machine assistance and were carefully checked by the Mimikama editorial team before publication. ( Reason )