Mimikama Column: “I’m sitting here at the head of my table.” In this column, topics from the Internet are examined with a touch of irony. By Jens H., mimikama.org
A warning about destroyed hard drives and data theft?
There I am now sitting at the head of my table , internally torn, on the one hand deeply impressed, delighted and honored by the new virtual rooms and on the other hand with a slightly sentimental attack of panic, a quiet, creeping one that comes right into the middle of every frenzy of joy, whether internal or not ecstatically pushing outwards, venting himself through pleasant grunts, diving in, silent, silent, almost imperceptible, he appears in the background and taps me,
Spreading self-doubt on your shoulder. Air I urgently need air, but how should I do it? I could quickly take a look on Facebook to see what's going on in the area and see if a friend of mine is also sitting in botany, bored and pondering over self-doubt. We could revive the old days, take the monster wheelchair to the beach and watch the hustle and bustle with a glass of mead. What fun we used to have when we buried the girls' bikini tops in the sand, but times are changing, if we still knew where we buried them today, we could distribute them to those in need, the poor things today almost have everyone no longer has tops.
Just as I'm about to call a friend, dark clouds gather, it's not going to be a beach today, it's a shame, but then I just keep scrolling through Facebook. I'm hoping for a few relaxing moments with cozy candlelight from various virtually shared birthday cakes, upbeat pop music from shared music videos, but what do I get? WARNINGS! From my friends list!
IMPORTANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please tell everyone on your list not to accept contact with 'Marcel Hohmann'! This is a virus (via Facebook, etc.) that destroys the entire hard drive and downloads the data. If one of your contacts catches it, you will also be affected because it eats its way through the list!
A silent scream of horror escapes my mouth, the slight, sentimental panic attack is thrown into the corner, gets up again, looks at me with the reproachful look of a lamppost that has been hit, you know how it is, they always lean over from the front so important the bonnet, flicker briefly again and then go out, exactly the same was the look of the slight, sentimental panic attack - it flickers briefly again and then it collapses, the force of the emerging horror is too great, it crushes every other feeling.
He wants to destroy my hard drives, download my data, I frantically start removing the cables from my computer *_______________________________________________
Don't panic
*Knock* is this happening again? There were probably a few cables too many. In the meantime, I made myself a hot chocolate with cream, calmed myself down a bit, reconnected some cables, of course otherwise I wouldn't be here again and I decided to get to the bottom of the whole thing, which includes finding out who it's coming from the message actually?
However, I have to hide my list first, now an ice-cold hand is grabbing me on the back of my neck again, which one should I hide, it just says "he's eating his way through the list", that's so typical of my friends again, I can already guess who I have to thank for that, but one thing at a time, first discuss which list I need to save, it would be easier if there was a hint in the text.
But wait, there is something about data and hard drives, but I have already removed them, I decide from now on to call my shopping list a shopping list, so he or she is safe too, channel list, oh God, sigh, TV or radio? Playlist? Franz Liszt? Franz Liszt's playlist? Mon Dieu of course the friends list.
This is getting tricky now, if the resident who shares my friend's list has already eaten his way through it, then he's definitely already gnawing on mine, not my girlfriend, but on the list, but if he's already gnawing on it, there's still something to do rescue?
Can I still go on Facebook to possibly warn others? My disks have been removed so far, the data is safe. Although, if the bird is able to destroy my hard drives and download the data, then, my gaze wanders to the pile of destroyed hard drives, then maybe he can, a slight hope arises in me, well it's probably closed It's late to hand in my doctoral thesis, which was scheduled for 1998, but it would be nice to at least be able to read it again.
Approximately in the area where the slight, sentimental panic attack was different, something appeared, small, insignificant but noticeable, it crept closer, it didn't feel like discomfort or even panic, it was more of a vague memory of something long forgotten, like that how when you stand at a friend's house on the stairs of an old building, the smell of the linoleum hits our noses, throws us with force into a flashback and for a moment we are physically standing in grandma and grandpa's stairwell again. Something like that was now creeping up from behind, unheard but suspected. Something was or is and I probably can't figure it out by making oracles here, the only way is to jump into the deep end, so I dare to click and move towards Facebook to get to the bottom of the origin of the warning to leave, the feeling is clearly related to it. Bravely I slowly scroll down, find the warning and the name of the sender Ute Christoff, names ring a bell.
Ute you stupid cow, you ended up on my list in the same way because Matthias Dannberger warned me about you that you would download my data and I, an idiot, believed him, but instead of even beginning to respond to my PMs, or even access my hard drives, strangely enough, none of them have been used up anymore, as promised, no, everything is stable, instead you regularly give me warnings about AIDS fruit and white vans in my virtual ears, you know what Ute, you turkey, me I think you're a real slob, the invention of a lonely mind who only occasionally blows something into the social media ether but otherwise doesn't move anything.
Fall back into reality
Suddenly a cat meows next to me, I'm taken out of my daydreams, my goodness, I'm glad I'm not acting so panicked anymore. Warning on Facebook, I don't get any on WhatsApp, my contact list is too small for that and everyone knows about ZDDK, they tend to ask, but it doesn't occur to them to just unleash such nonsense on those around them. I scratch the dog's neck, the cat has long since moved on to meowing at someone else in the house. I sip my hot chocolate, sit back and am sure the day will be good for everyone, as long as we don't always let ourselves get bullied.
Notes:
1) This content reflects the current state of affairs at the time of publication. The reproduction of individual images, screenshots, embeds or video sequences serves to discuss the topic. 2) Individual contributions were created through the use of machine assistance and were carefully checked by the Mimikama editorial team before publication. ( Reason )