Romance Scam: This is how the correspondence works!

Longing, romance, a hint of flirtation, an adventurous pen pal relationship: This is how the romance scam begins.

Scam – what is it? Scam is derived from “scamming”. The term “scamming” means that people who are completely unknown to you via various channels such as: B. Contact us via email or messenger. The aim is to gain the recipient's trust, put him under pressure and ultimately get money. Such correspondence with scammers can last for months and the victim is manipulated using all possible means. This manipulation continues until the level of trust is so great that people are willing to transfer money for anything.

We have a 7-page long correspondence with a scammer, in which you can wonderfully read out the scammers' methods and tools. You can also clearly see how long (!) such correspondence lasts before the request for money even comes to the table. A scammer prepares his scam very carefully and, above all, slowly. Trust plays a big role in this.

Indiscriminate contact

It can basically affect anyone. Of course, those e-mail addresses that are revealed on the Internet in every insecure place are more affected (which is why it always pays to create an additional “trash can address” that you make anonymous), but these are now often the main addresses affected because they are on address lists that have long been traded on the Internet by the bank. For example, anyone who has given out their address on certain competition sites has also agreed that it can be passed on. In the end, you don't have to be surprised if these are sold to obscure places at some point.

In the end, the scammer doesn't care who is on this list, only a distinction is made based on gender. Especially when it comes to romance scams, choosing the gender you pretend to be is very important when making contact. ( Orange = bait, gray = scammer)

Thank you for the friend request, but since I don't speak English it doesn't make any sense. I also only have real friends on Facebook. Kind regards from [********]

Okay no problem my love but I can speak to you in German for your understanding because I am also from Berlin Germany but I was there when I was very young but now live in Dundee Scotland I hope so If we don't mind continuing like this, can we learn more about ourselves?

Ok, then we can try it, but I am a “woman” and have been living on this beautiful island for 6 years. I was born in Hamburg, lived there for 36 years, then moved to [******] and lived there until 2012. I send warm greetings to Scotland, it's definitely very, very cold there now, we have nice weather here, unfortunately with a lot of wind.

Wow, that's nice, you're wonderful, I can see that you like to travel a lot. I really miss my city Berlin, which I left when I was very young after the death of both my parents, but now I want to go back to Germany. I think that I am good in my home country because I was born in Germany.

False compliments

Your own (fictitious) personality is also described quite quickly, so that the recipient gets a little “appetite” for a correspondence. A feeling of consternation is also very often created; the scammer likes to pretend to be a loving widower who has tragically lost his wife/family. This is also the case in our case:

Oh yes, thank you for your kind answer, my love: Good for my work, I'm a textile and fabric product and the dog on my profile belongs to me. I love my dog ​​so much, he's just the one who's always kept me company since I've had one lost my family. His name is Puffy

I'm really, really sorry that you lost your family. How did it happen and when. It must be terrible to lose a loved one. I love my cat very much too, his name is **** and he's a really nice guy.

Well, it sounds good to hear that you have a beautiful and lovable dog, I am single with no child, I lost my wife 3 years ago, she died in fatal car accident with our unborn 4 month old child, it was like that embarrassing for me my love, I have been living alone with my dog ​​for 3 years.

The “Trustworthy”

A very important component in the entire correspondence: If the scammer is doubted, he is happy to prove his identity with a photo. In this picture you see a trustworthy and friendly person. Not overly good-looking, not “ugly”, but credible. Same in our case:

Okay, I'll send you a photo of myself, but can you please tell me who your friend is that you said I was also writing here?

There is no friend in my profile, you always call me “my friend”. But since I'm a woman, it sounds very strange. Thank you for the nice photo, if it's really current you don't have to hide. I'll close my computers now and wish you a good night.

Okay, my beautiful angel, then I will wish you that the moon is always full and bright and you are always cool and right. wherever you go to turn off the lights, remember that I wish you a good night, a successful night's rest and a pleasant sleep, my beautiful angel

If you take this picture and put it into the reverse image search on Google, the scam is already exposed at this point: the search results prove that it is a photo that is often used in the course of a romance scam correspondence.

The bitter end

One must not forget at this point: such correspondence takes place over a long period of time ! A scammer doesn't walk in the door on the first day, but prepares the scam carefully and for a long time. He builds a relationship of trust, constructs a personality and its environment so that everything seems real.

In the end, the fraudsters ask for money, to open a joint account, to send packages or for copies of ID. However, they usually only do this when they know that their victims TRUST them. At first they ask for small amounts of money. The reasons for this sound plausible, because they have already addressed the issue (without asking for money) in the previous correspondence and the victims feel “in the know”.

By the way, this doesn't stop a correspondence like this straight away, but rather just gets started: If the scammer notices that there's money to be had, he'll try again! The amounts of money increase, the emotional pressure also increases. The police warn: Since the perpetrators pretend to have a very close and trusting relationship with their victims over a long period of time, the victims are emotionally shaken after fraud. At the same time, the perpetrators only stop the fraud when they notice that the victim is no longer sending money - if in doubt, they accept the financial ruin of their victim. Another danger can be that the perpetrators ask their victims to receive money or goods and send them on. Without exception, both the money and the goods come from other criminal activities and the victims are liable to prosecution on suspicion of money laundering!

By the way, the police advise:

How do I behave if I have been cheated on?

• Break off contact and use the options available to block a scammer.
• If you have already responded to the fraudsters' demands, they will be very persistent: therefore, consistently ignore any further attempts to contact them.
• Save all correspondence with the fraudsters and keep all transfer receipts etc.
• Contact your police in confidence and file a criminal complaint.