Protect your child from cyberbullying

Cyberbullying, bullying using digital technologies, has become a serious problem. One in four children between the ages of 12 and 17 have struggled with cyberbullying in one way or another.

The consequences can be very serious:

Children withdraw, their performance at school suffers and they become aggressive, depressed or even harm themselves. But if your child is struggling with cyberbullying, there is still a lot you can do by offering timely help and talking about the problem.

We want more parents to know what cyberbullying is, how to recognize the early signs, and how to solve the problem. Even though the Internet is a large virtual network, not all of its dangers can be solved with computer technology alone.

Some things can't just be stopped or banned, and cyberbullying is one of those things. But just because we can't shield our children from this danger 24/7 doesn't mean we can't help them. Kaspersky Lab, in collaboration with child psychologists from around the world, has put together some recommendations on how to help victims of cyberbullying.

Lisa Wright, co-founder of the anti-cyberbullying initiative Webiket.com says:

“Remember that trust and confidential conversations are among the first steps to dealing with cyberbullying. This must be followed by ongoing situation assessments and the development of strategies for dealing with the cyberbullying and your child’s emotional state.”

Recommendations include:

1. Be there for the child, without prejudice, without blame - just with loving acceptance. At this stage, the child needs to hear that you are always there, no matter what happens or what they have done.
2. Don't downplay the incident. At this moment he is the most important thing in your child's life. In the emotionally vulnerable state, the child cannot think rationally, so you must make it clear to him that you understand the seriousness of the situation and that the child's pain is justified.
3. It's not time for a rational conversation yet. Do not suggest that the child may have provoked the whole thing, even if that is the case. This could create a wall and make your child think that you don't understand the problem.
4. Real compassion is important! Your child needs to be clear that you feel exactly what he or she feels. Explain that you have faced similar challenges yourself - perhaps not online, but face to face - and that that was difficult too. But don't give the impression that you suffered more or that you alone had the strength to deal with it. Say that back then you would have liked to have had someone who would listen to you, understand you and be there for you.
5. Only once you have gained the child's trust (this may take some time and should not be rushed) can you begin to talk about the incident itself. Don't try to predict what your child will say. Let the child take the lead and let him or her explain in their own words. It is extremely important that the child unloads the burden themselves.

Cyberpsychologist Caron Mullen summarizes the rules:

Cyberbullying is a complex problem that requires a multidimensional approach.

A strategy for supporting the child's emotional state is very important.

There are practical tips to help your child get through the worst moments in a positive way, without resorting to actions that might actually make the problem worse.

The long-term goal is to help the child build resilience and enable them to cope with problematic social experiences without psychological harm.

But the first and most important step is for the parents to gain the child's trust so that the burden can be shared. Together you can develop an action plan to deal with the situation.

We would also like to recommend this video to you! Cyberbullying film “Make a Mark!”