On social media we repeatedly encounter anger, hatred, envy or discredits. All too often we forget what the essential values are. A few thoughts on this...
People talk about values again and again. But how do you define a value? What value really counts in the end? The following tweets are from Dr. Alastair McAlpine. Alastair McAlpine is a doctor who is confronted with suffering every day. He is a pallative doctor, which means he treats terminally ill people.
It must be clearly stated that these people can no longer be cured, but that palrative medicine is intended to ensure that patients can at least lead a life with few symptoms and pain.
[mk_ad]
Alastair McAlpine asked terminally ill children what was really important in life. the answers to this in February 2018, but these can currently be found more often on social media or in various web articles. Which values really count in the end emerge from his thread.
For an assignment, I asked some of my terminal pediatric palliative care patients what they had enjoyed in life, and what gave it meaning. Kids can be so wise, y'know. Here are some of the responses (thread).
— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Since this survey is of course not representative, it cannot be viewed as generally valid. Nevertheless, you should look at what the four to nine year old children answered.
What they definitely DON'T want...
None of them said they wished they had watched more TV. Likewise, no one said they should have spent more time on Facebook. None of them said they enjoyed fighting with others or enjoyed being in the hospital.
First:
NONE said they wished they'd watched more TV
NONE said they should've spent more time on Face Book
NONE said they enjoyed fighting with others
NONE enjoyed hospital
/1— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Which values are worth it? What the children mentioned...
However, many mentioned that they would have loved to spend more time with their pets. They also frequently mentioned their parents and expressed concern for their parents:
“I hope mom will be okay.
She seems sad." "Dad shouldn't worry.
He will see me again soon." "God will take care of my mother and father when I'm gone."
MANY mentioned their pets:
'I love Rufus, his funny bark makes me laugh.'
'I love when Ginny snuggles up to me at night and purrs'
'I was happiest riding Jake on the beach.'
/2— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
MANY mentioned their parents, often expressing worry or concern:
'Hope mum will be ok.
She seems sad.' 'Dad doesn't have to worry.
He'll see me again soon.' 'God will take care of my mum and dad when I'm gone'
/3— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Apparently very important: All of them like ice cream!
ALL of them loved ice cream.
/4— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Just as stories are important too. Whether magic stories or stories from outer space, the main thing is that stories are being told.
ALL of them loved books or being told stories, especially by their parents:
'Harry Potter made me feel brave.'
'I love stories in space!'
'I want to be a great detective like Sherlock Holmes when I'm better!'Folks, read to your kids! They love it. /5
— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Many of the children were also self-critical and wished they had worried less about what others thought of them. In the end, they were amazed at how well their real friends handled their illnesses and treated them “normally.” Values such as humanity and friendship are important to them:
MANY wished they had spent less time worrying about what others thought of them, and valued people who just treated them 'normally'.
'My real friends didn't care when my hair fell out.'
'Jane came to visit after the surgery and didn't even notice the scar!' /6— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
The sea! The sea, the beach, the waves. A nice idea for many of the children.
Many of them loved swimming and the beach.
'I made big sandcastles!'
'Being in the sea with the waves was so exciting! My eyes didn't even hurt!' /7— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
But it was also the interpersonal reactions that many of the children thought about. Your own grandmother who made you laugh. Friends who shared something or even the friendly nurse. But also people who made her laugh, like a silly magician or the farting boy in the next bed.
Almost ALL of them valued kindness above most other virtues:
'My granny is so kind to me.
She always makes me smile.' 'Jonny gave me half his sandwich when I didn't eat mine.
That was nice.' 'I like it when that child nurse is here. She's gentle. And it hurts less' /8— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
[mk_ad]
Almost ALL of them loved people who made them laugh:
'That magician is so silly!
His pants fell down and I couldn't stop laughing!' 'My daddy pulls funny faces which I just love!'
'The boy in the next bed farted! Hahaha!'Laughter relieves pain. /9
— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
Don't forget the toys and superheroes! Whether it's the beloved doll, the teddy bear or ultimately Batman (Our advice at this point: always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman, then be Batman!)
Kids love their toys, and their superheroes.
'My Princess Sophia doll is my favorite!'
'I love Batman!'
(All the boys love Batman) 'I like cuddling my teddy' /10— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
What really counts!
In the end, Dr. Alastair McAlpine summed it up:
Be kind. Read more books. Spend time with your family. Make jokes. Go to the beach. Hug your dog. Tell that special person you love them.
These are the things these kids wish they could have done more of. The rest is details. Oh…. and eat ice cream.
Take home message:
Be kind. Read more books. Spend time with your family. Crack jokes. Go to the beach. Hug your dog. Tell that special person you love them.These are the things these kids wished they could've done more. The rest is details.
Oh… and eat ice cream. /End
— Alastair McAlpine (@AlastairMcA30) February 1, 2018
This might also be of interest:
Article image by Shutterstock / KIRATIYA KUMKAEW
Notes:
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